Apparently you make a good broom.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
