Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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