just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
