Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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