hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
