i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
