the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize