he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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