that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
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Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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