I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
