What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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