I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize