we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
