You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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