he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
