I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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