Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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