my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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