I'm going to jail i love you
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
