Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...