The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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