i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
