Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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