Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
