No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
