new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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