So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We have started to decorate penises.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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