Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
