rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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