Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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