He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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