my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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