Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
