Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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