If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
