I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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