just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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