saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
