whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
