Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
no. you can't hotbox the world.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
worst night to have a conscience
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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