Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
