Your mouth is God's brothel.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
