is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
