is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
