is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
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It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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