very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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