He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
