He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think i have two assholes
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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