I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is Oprah even human
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
