You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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