He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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