i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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