Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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