Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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