I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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