i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
