i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
