and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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