she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
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To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
why is half of my head shaved?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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