you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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