I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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