u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
honey bunches of taint.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize