I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
